Sometimes expectations of ourselves and others can literally ruin our lives and lead us to make bad choices. Unrealistic expectations prevent us from moving forward and can cause irritability, disappointment and disillusionment with the people around us and the processes of life in general.
Having unrealistic expectations often take the form of the “if only ” way of thinking, for example, if only I got that dream job then life would be great.
By thinking in this way we are clearly setting up a cycle of dependency on certain things happening or on people behaving in a certain way in order to be happy or live our lives the way we choose.
We can reframe our thinking by understanding and contrasting the difference between expectations and possibilities.
Expectations assume a certain result and are future based .They can make our thinking very narrow minded and often blind us to possibilities by creating unnecessary pressure and holding us hostage to a future that may not happen. The rigidity of expectations prevents us from being fully present in the moment and engaging with experiences because we are always worrying about the expected future. Eventually, this way of being affects our health and well-being both mentally and physically.
Possibilities on the other hand are based in the present moment. Living a life being open to possibilities allows us to engage fully in the moment and live according to our values while realizing that the future is unknown. This does not mean you don’t have hopes or plans for the future but rather your well-being is not dependent on the future. Your mind is open and inspired to the endless possibilities of life as it unfolds, with the result that you respond instead of react and you make better choices and decisions which enhance your well- being.
Still make plans and set goals but don’t be defined by expectations and outcomes.
Choosing a mind of possibility over a mind of expectation cultivates belief in yourself and trust in the process of life. This is where real joy happens and true potential can be achieved.
This Mantra is by Tony Robbins:
“Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly.”